2015年浦東新區(qū)一模原題：
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Write at least 60 words about the topic “I get___ from my class life”(以“我從班級(jí)生活中得到____”為題，寫一篇不少于60個(gè)詞的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格，請(qǐng)?jiān)诖痤}紙上把作文題目補(bǔ)充完整，如：I get friendship/happiness/help…from my class life.) 每個(gè)人的成長(zhǎng)都離不開班級(jí)生活，你認(rèn)為你的班級(jí)生活如何？從中你最大的收獲是什么？你又想為班集體做些什么？ （注意：短文中不得出現(xiàn)任何人名、校名及其它相關(guān)信息，否則不予評(píng)分。） The following points are for referencing only. (以下句型僅供參考) My class life is exciting/boring/interesting… I get… from… I expect/hope (that/to)… |
Ø 昂立中考名師孫煥奐老師范文：
I get friendship from my class life
Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in one’s life. Luckily, I make good friends and maintain precious friendship from my class life. As the saying①“true friendship is a plant of slow growth” goes, I did not harvest friendship as easily and quickly as I had expected at the beginning of my class life. However, when I try my best to help the classmates in need, I begin to win their trust and respect. As time goes by, classmates ②of the similar interest and ③sharing the same belief come together and become good friends. ④Living and studying in a friendly and harmonious atmosphere in my class, I feel so happy that I always ⑤make every effort to make contribution to my class. ⑥With all my friends thinking in the same way, my class has become a lovely family.
(Words: 146 )
Ø 內(nèi)容分析：
浦東新區(qū)的一模作文題目，命題貼近學(xué)生的校園生活，基本可以確保拿到這個(gè)題目的學(xué)生人人有話可說，且可以做到言之有物。
第一步：審題
I get____ from my class life, 下劃線部分是需要學(xué)生自行填充的。題干部分給了諸如friendship/happiness/help等提示詞供考生參考，從這些詞的共性中不難發(fā)現(xiàn)，盡管是自由發(fā)揮，填入下劃線部分的應(yīng)該是一個(gè)較為概括性的、比較抽象的詞匯。換言之，考生不可以填寫a schoolbag等具體的實(shí)物。
第二步：構(gòu)思
考生可以從提示詞中任選一個(gè)進(jìn)行創(chuàng)作，也可以聯(lián)系自己的班級(jí)生活，選取一個(gè)從班級(jí)生活中獲得的“最大的收獲”來寫作，比如：love\good luck\stimulation等;不管選取哪一個(gè)詞匯，一定需要足夠的論證和例證來支撐論點(diǎn)。建議考生選取一個(gè)比較熟悉的詞匯，在考場(chǎng)上的有限時(shí)間里，考生不必放棄自己熟悉的詞域而刻意標(biāo)新立異。
第三步: 成文
正所謂“凡事預(yù)則立，不預(yù)則廢”，盡管考試時(shí)間緊張，一篇優(yōu)秀的文章離不開一個(gè)良好的謀篇布局。建議考生在稿紙上簡(jiǎn)單粗略的寫幾個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞，作為提綱，指導(dǎo)寫作思路。草稿關(guān)鍵詞以“動(dòng)詞/動(dòng)詞詞組”為主，因?yàn)閯?dòng)詞是一個(gè)句子的靈魂，可以表達(dá)作者最主要的思想。
Ø 精彩亮點(diǎn)分析：
亮點(diǎn)一: 出自George Washington，原句為：True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to that appellation. 真正的友誼是慢慢生長(zhǎng)的樹，要經(jīng)得起患難的沖擊，才稱得上真正的友誼。
亮點(diǎn)二：介詞短語(yǔ)做后置定語(yǔ)，修飾限定classmates;
亮點(diǎn)三：現(xiàn)在分詞做后置定語(yǔ)，與介詞短語(yǔ)并列，修飾限定classmates;
亮點(diǎn)四：現(xiàn)在分詞做原因狀語(yǔ)，與主句構(gòu)成因果關(guān)系;
亮點(diǎn)五：詞組make every effort to do sth. , 盡全力做某事;
亮點(diǎn)六：With結(jié)構(gòu)的獨(dú)立主格，使句式更加多樣。
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